
🍔 “Chick, Please!” Dr. Sebi–Style Chickpea Burger
“This burger’s got no beef, but it still brings the heat.”
🌿 Ingredients (Makes 4 sassy patties)
• 1½ cups cooked chickpeas (aka garbanzo greatness)
• ½ cup finely chopped red onion
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• ¼ cup chopped green onions or scallions
• ¼ cup finely chopped bell pepper (any color, we don’t discriminate)
• ¼ cup spelt flour (Dr. Sebi–approved thickener)
• 2 tbsp grapeseed oil (plus more for cooking)
• 1 tsp sea salt
• 1 tsp onion powder
• 1 tsp crushed herbs (like oregano or thyme)
• ½ tsp cayenne or crushed pepper (optional, if you like it spicy)
• Optional: dash of lime juice for a lil’ zing
Joke break:
Why did the chickpea refuse to fight?
Because it didn’t want to stir up any hummus-tility! 😄
🔥 Instructions
- Mash it up:
In a large bowl, mash the chickpeas with a fork or potato masher until mostly smooth but still a little chunky. Like, just enough texture to keep things interesting, like your playlist. - Mix the magic:
Add all the chopped veggies, seasonings, spelt flour, and oil. Mix until it becomes a moldable mixture. If it’s too wet, add a bit more flour. If too dry, add a splash of water or lime juice. - Form those patties:
Shape into 4 equal burger patties. Pro tip: press gently, don’t pack them like they’re going through TSA. - Cook it up:
Heat a bit of grapeseed oil in a pan over medium heat. Cook patties 4–5 minutes per side until golden and crisp. - Serve with love:
On spelt buns or lettuce wraps, topped with avocado, red onion, tomato, and approved herbs. And maybe a side of sass.
🥬 Why You’ll Love This Alkaline Icon:
• Soy-free, gluten-free, guilt-free
• Chickpeas bring protein, and punchlines
• Keeps your cells smiling and your belly full
• Won’t make you miss meat, unless it owes you money
Final Punchline:
What do you call a chickpea burger that goes viral?
A falaf-famous! 😆
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